My hysterectomy Do’s and Don’t list!

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Today marks week six since my hysterectomy. I am going to give you a list of everything I bought, cooked, did and didn’t do leading up to and post surgery plus some of the associated costs.

These were things unique to my experience and I hope they help you on your journey.

Pre-operation to-do list:

  1. Purchase antibacterial pre-surgery soap from a pharmacy. This was prescribed by my surgeon and I used it the day before my surgery and the day of my surgery. It really dries out your skin so be prepared to feel itchy, do not put lotion on to ease the itching. Also, buy one box of mid-flow pads, you will need pads for about 10 days post-op. Cost: soap $12 pads $6
  2. New pajamas. I knew I would be laying in bed for a couple weeks and would feel like complete hell, I didn’t want to be laying there in moth eaten pj’s. I bought 4 new pairs of jam jams, laid them out near my bed so there would be no bending or searching for them. I should have warned you, I am neurotic when it comes to order. Cost $100
  3. Make food! I cannot stress this enough. Fill your freezer and cupboards with all your favourite comfort foods but nothing that is super gassy, farting post-op is scary stuff! Make sure you have all your favourite drinks, snacks, meals, absolutely anything that makes you happy ready to go. BUT I will stress this, try your best to eat healthy food. This isn’t the time to become a nutritional goddess, this is the time to treat yourself like a goddess and eat the healthy versions of your favourite foods. Cost: $300
  4. Walk. If you aren’t a fitness person it doesn’t matter, you will not realize how much you miss walking freely until you can’t PLUS you need a base and strong muscles. Cost: FREE, get outside, the mall, whatever, just move!
  5. Wash everything! Get your nest ready! Wash your sheets the day before your surgery, clean your bathroom (super important, no germs), put lots of pillows in your bedroom because you will need to propped yourself up in bed (no side sleeping for you), vacuum (it will be your last time for several weeks), wash that cozy blanket you love snuggling with on the couch, get your house in order!        Cost: FREE – elbow grease
  6. Paperwork. If you are employed you will have a boat load of paperwork to deal with. Clear a spot at home where you safely and easily can access a computer and your files. Keep everything together, and fill out any paperwork in advance of your surgery. If you live in Canada you can fill out your EI paperwork online prior to your surgery, it’s good to do this to get the ball rolling.
  7. No more Netflix! That’s right stop watching all your favourite shows NOW and bank them all for when you are off! You will literally want to do nothing for at least the first 10 days, save up all your shows. If you don’t have Netflix you can sign up for one month free trial. Cost: $12 your Netflix subscription
  8. Distractions. If you are a reader, knitter, crafter, comic book artist, whatever get your occupation station ready! *side note: I know you are a little scared right now but once the initial surgery is over and you are home this will be a wonderful time to just focus on you! Keep your hands and brain busy when you are getting stronger. Your only job is to get better, nothing else matters! Cost: I bought a couple magazines so $20
  9. Pack your hospital bag! Slippers, scent free hand lotion, I packed a bottle of lemonade (it made me happy), cellphone charger, headphones (you’ll thank me when you are wide awake at midnight), and fresh loose fitting clothes for home time! Cost: $4 for the lemonade.
  10. Warmth and weight. I survived for the first 2 weeks thanks to my Magic Bag, I had 3 of them on the go at all times. The warmth relaxed me and the weight of the bags added a nice easy compression feeling. Cost: On average $20/bag I got mine at a craft sale so they were a little cheaper.
  11. Homeopathy. If this is something you believe in (I am really on the fence) give these 2 a whirl. I read peppermint tea helped with swelling so I bought some, drank a cup a day, I cannot confirm nor deny if it worked but it did help me relax. My girlfriend had a laparoscopic hysterectomy (mine was c-section) and she took activated charcoal tablets a couple days pre-op and post-op, she said it really helped with the air build up in her abdomen which is common with that style of surgery. She said the medical staff supported this treatment. Cost: $8 for peppermint tea.
  12. Attitude: Get your head in check. This surgery is no joke but stressing and freaking out isn’t going to get you anywhere. The week leading up to the surgery I listened to one song and one song only and it was my mantra… “Good Vibrations” by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch! Set your vibe, set your mind and smile because freaking out is waste of time. Cost: $1.29 Itunes.

Post-operation

  1. Pill schedule. It is critical to have someone stay with you for at least the first 5 days when you get home. Getting out of bed without help is nearly impossible, you are essentially a turtle flipped on it’s back! AND this person needs to be in charge of your meds, set a timer and wake you up every 4 hours for your pills. DO NOT sleep through your pill time, your goal is to stay on top of the pain and not chasing it! This is very important!
  2. Stand up straight. The first couple days you will be hunched over holding your stomach taking baby steps and wincing over every movement, ok fine but quit that after week one and warrior up! You know that old lady at the supermarket who is all hunched over and she makes you sad, you aren’t her!
  3. Pets. OOOoooooooh I love my little fur family and I love sleeping with them. Absolutely not post-op. Kick them out! The only thing hogging the bed is you! Sorry Ruby, Lewi and Yoshi see you in a couple weeks!
  4. Poop. Before you leave the hospital they will want you to pee, poop/fart. All will be terrifying. The hospital will probably give you a laxative before you leave the hospital. Take it and try to get off the narcotics as soon as you can, they aren’t bum friendly. Take whatever you need to take to not be backed up because straining is not an option with weak lower muscles.
  5. FaceTime. You feel awful, you miss the outside world, you want to smile – Facetime someone! You don’t have to get out of bed, you don’t even need to put on a bra for that matter. Smile, chat, see your people! Don’t go into hiding!
  6. Walk again. My surgery happened during the winter from hell, it’s been freezing cold and snowing non-stop. At week 5 I needed to start moving but I didn’t want to spend money so mall walking was out of the question (I am a shopaholic) and going outside was not an option. Luckily, my local community center offers free access to the track twice a day and I have been slowly increasing my mileage. The first time I went I walked for 20 minutes, got lapped by everyone, went home and napped for 3 hours! But girl, it felt great getting dressed, seeing people and the nap felt so good!
  7. Sanitary supplies + undies. They will give you gauze panties post-op and a pad, you can ask for some more to come home with (I kinda loved the gauze gitch, super comfy). BUT my favourite part has been giving away all my unused tampons and pads to my friends and women’s shelters (I buy stuff in bulk). Guess what, you are now saving $10-$15 a month on period products! YES! My doctor recommended wearing tighter underwear around the 3 week mark because it acts like  compression on your lower abs. I don’t like tight gitch so I have been living in tight wide-band waist band leggings.
  8. Blood flow. It’s important to promote blood flow to the incision area, it promotes healing so…when you are ready try some light abdominal work. I have been doing these 3 exercises from YouTube. DO NOT OVER DO IT! No set backs! Also for all you horny toads out there, no S-E-X until the doctor says so, as my friend who also had a hysterectomy said “You don’t want your crotch to blow out” – thanks for that image Lisa!
  9. Honesty. If you feel terrible that’s ok. If you feel tired that’s ok. If you want to watch trashy television for 6 weeks (looks at self right now) that’s ok! Just be honest about what you want to do right now! AND be honest with people about your surgery, do not believe for one second there is a stigma here! Please do not shrug off the significance of your journey by call it a “lady surgery”, you had your guts ripped out, do NOT down play that!!
  10. One chance. You have one chance to heal properly. ONE!! If you are tired, you sleep. If you are hungry, you eat. These are the only 2 things you have to do!!!! I took a shower every single day, put on fresh pj’s, made food (I ordered a couple times too, I love Skip The Dishes) and laid on the couch for 3 solid weeks. Car rides were extremely painful so I limited those and walking more than 5 minutes was exhausting. Do…NOT…rush…..yourself!!! We all heal at different paces but girl, this surgery is not like the sniffles! I repeat and in the voice of RuPaul “You have one chance to heal properly, don’t fuck it up”.

 

You got this! And just think, without your period you are about to get 3 months of your life back every year. What are you going to do with all that extra time?

Be great, be strong!

F

*My favourite message post-op came from our veterinarian “Geez, that’s a big uterus. I am so glad I didn’t have to spay you!” Truth!!! funny-veterinary-signs-6

Fellow Eggnoggins Unite!

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Are you a nog head? A nog-a-holic? A num num nog lover? You do not need to hide your milky egg shame any longer! You are in a safe space here because I LOVE EGGNOG TOO!

This holiday drink is so divisive among people, either you love it or hate it….it is basically the cilantro of December!

eggnog caloriesI am a purist, I like the full fat classic eggnog. I sometimes will dilute it with a little 1% milk but lets be honest, if you are sliding down the eggnog rabbit hole then you have made peace with the calories! To make it even more indulgent I will pour it over vanilla ice cream with a couple extra sprinkles of nutmeg! Eggnog with fresh banana bread…oh snap, give me a minute to compose myself! HEAVEN!

Adding booze to my nog is not my thing but I love all the different names for boozy nog: The Modern Bartender’s Guide from 1878 distinguishes “plain egg nog”, “egg milk punch”, and “milk punch” from one another. It also includes variations such as “Baltimore egg nog”, “General Jackson egg nog”, “Imperial egg nog”, and two types of “sherry cobbler egg nog”, as well as “sherry cobbler with egg”, “mulled claret with egg”, “egg sour”, and “Saratoga egg lemonade” (also called “sea breeze”)….I am more of a rum and nog if I am going to go for it…I call it “Fun-time Nog”!

But “Fun-time Nog” is not the real name, rum + nog is actually how we got the name “Eggnog”. The term is a combination of two colonial slang words — rum was referred to as grog and bartenders served it in small wooden mugs called noggins and that is how the first drink was named, egg-n-grog and later as eggnog. #TheMoreYouKnow

Starbucks makes a delish eggnog steamer, Walmart has a great eggnog scented candle keep calmthis year, eggnog pancakes are the most delicious variation on traditional pancakes (my fave recipe is below) and when I visit Winnipeg later in December I am hoping to get my nog loving hands on some eggnog cream filled eclairs from La Belle Baguette. In Saskatoon at Homestead Ice Cream they make a really great eggnog ice cream. We are going to the Cayman Islands this week and we will be making eggnog mudslides! Check my twitter/facebook this week for an update.

What is your fave nog recipe? Are you a purist? Or are you a non-nogger? If you are we can still be friends but like distant friends, not inner circle…..in the words of Demi Lovato “I am sorry not sorry”!

And now this…

Fun: My three favourite songs right now that make me stupid happy are: Bend by Ria Mae, while re-watching Office Christmas Party I fell in love with Electrify by Oliver and at yoga this week during the shavasana she played Tree to Grow by the Lone Bellow. All three are on repeat in my car and when I work out!

Fitness: Speaking of working out….winter running, biking, snowshoe racing or even cross country skiing for that matter,  I am all in for wearing my downhill ski goggles. I am so over having frosty eyelashes and frozen cheeks! I got a sweet pair from Sportchek, you don’t need to spend more than $40 for a decent pair. I may even wear them dog walking, that should get the neighbours talking!

Food: Here is the most delicious eggnog pancake recipe from “Let’s Dish Recipes” that I promise you will devour these this December! Fluffy, noggy and I like to add extra nutmeg because well…tis the season! Click here for the recipe.

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Fashion: Ok so I have seen now a couple gals wearing velvet on air and I gotta say I am not a fan. In real life it looks great but on tv I feel it’s just too shiny and I am just not loving it…but I am loving this sleeveless sweater top from Le Chateau, it is also currently on sale which makes me wanna marry it! (please no comment on my Bert who loves Ernie eyebrows, occupational hazard).

 

 

Be Great!

F

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